Many people are familiar with the terminology “custody” and “visitation” when thinking of child-related issues in dissolution and parentage matters. However, those are outdated terms. As of January 1, 2016, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) began using “allocation of parental responsibilities” instead. Parental responsibilities include parenting time and significant decision-making responsibilities.
Defining “Parenting Time” It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with the definition for “parenting time” prior to filing any pleadings seeking a modification of an existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment. Pursuant to 750 ILCS 5/600(e), “parenting time” is defined as “the time during which a parent is responsible for exercising caretaking functions and non-significant decision-making responsibilities with respect to the child.” How to Modify an Existing Parenting Time Schedule To modify an existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment regarding parenting time specifically, you must first refer to 750 ILCS 5/610.5. Section 610.5 explains that parenting time may be modified at any time if you are able to show changed circumstances. No showing of serious endangerment to the child is required, just a substantial change in circumstances. For a non-exclusive list of factors that a Court will consider, please see 750 ILCS 5/602.7(b). One thing that an Illinois Court will not consider in making its decisions is a parent’s conduct that does not affect the parent’s relationship with the child. [750 ILCS 5/602.7(c).] Absent an agreement, the parent seeking the modification must file a pleading before the Court to achieve such a modification. The pleading seeking the modification is the document that you will need to file to begin the process before the Court. “Substantial Change in Circumstances” Requirement The Court must find by a preponderance of the evidence that a substantial change has occurred in the circumstances of the child or of either parent. This means that you must provide convincing evidence to the Court that proves the change in circumstances warrants a modification of the existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment so that the child’s best interests are properly served. The party seeking the modification has the burden of proof that the modification is warranted. This is because there is an underlying policy favoring the finality of child custody judgments and promoting stability and continuity in the child’s environment and relationships. Therefore, from the Court’s point of view, if you want to change the status quo, you must prove to the Court why that should happen. Remember that the substantial change in circumstances must have occurred after the entry of the existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment. Also, the substantial change in circumstances must not have been anticipated prior to the entry of the existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment. Exceptions to the Requirement Sometimes a pleading seeking a modification is not required to change a parenting time schedule. Instead, there are plenty of instances where parents are able to come to an agreement modifying parenting time without the Court’s involvement in the matter. In such a case, the parties can submit a proposed Agreed Order to the Court modifying the parenting time. Unless the Court, in its review of the proposed modification, finds that the modification would not be in the child’s best interest, the Court will likely enter an Order modifying the parenting time. 750 ILCS 5/610(d). Pursuant to Section 610.5(e), there are a few exceptions to the requirement of showing changed circumstances. Notably, each time the Court examines whether to modify a parenting time schedule, such a modification must be in the child’s best interest. In addition to that, the exceptions include the following:
Seeking a Modification in Parenting Time in Bad Faith Under Section 610.5(f), if a Court determines that a modification is vexatious or constitutes harassment, the Court shall assess the attorney’s fees and costs against the party seeking the modification. If the Court finds that a party has repeatedly filed frivolous pleadings for modification, then the Court may ultimately bar the parent from filing a pleading seeking a modification for a period of time. Navigating the requirements for a modification of parenting time can be difficult, especially if the parents have not reached an agreement to change the status quo. If you are interested in seeking a modification to your existing Parenting Plan or AllocationJudgment, it is recommended that you speak to a qualified attorney. If you are interested in seeking a modification to your existing Parenting Plan or Allocation Judgment it is recommended that you speak to a qualified attorney. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/modifying-allocation-parental-responsibilities-parenting-time/
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A common question we hear is whether or not a parent can relocate with children after a divorce. In a post-COVID world, working from home has many parents choosing to relocate to be closer to family or in a more convenient neighborhood. While this may work when things are going well in a marriage, it can make the divorce process extra difficult, especially with children. Many times, when a couple dissolves their marriage, one of the spouses will desire extra help and may look to relocate to be closer to family and a support system. Other times, relocating to advance their career is important especially when parents are no longer together. In either scenario, this creates a delicate situation. Starting the Process to Relocate With Children Post-Divorce First, it’s important to consider the distance you are seeking to move. If you just want to move down the street, it’s unlikely you’ll have a big legal hurdle to overcome. However, Illinois has different laws for parents depending on how far they are planning to move with their children. Pursuant to 750 ILCS 5/600(g), Illinois defines a move as a “Relocation” in 3 different ways.
To begin the relocation process, as the parent wishing to relocate, you must send written notice to the other parent. A notice should include the intended date of the relocation, the address of your new residence, (if known), and the length of time the relocation will last if it is not for an indefinite or permanent period. 750 ILCS 5/609.2. A copy of the notice must be filed with the Court. In most cases, this notice must be filed at least 60 days prior to the intended relocation. If the other parent consents, they need to sign the notice and the relocating parent must file the signed notice with the Court. Once this occurs, you may relocate without any further Court action. However, if the non-relocating parent does not consent, the Court will need to make a determination about the children’s residence prior to the relocation. The Court may hold a hearing where a Judge can make the determination based on Illinois relocation laws. Relocation Based on Child’s Best Interests The current Illinois relocation statute became effective on January 1, 2016. A court’s determination of relocation of a child is based on the child’s best interests. In determining the best interests of the child, the trial court considers the following relevant factors:
These factors in the law are not seen as a definitive checklist which are all required to either grant or deny a child’s relocation. Rather, they are like ingredients of a meal — the more you have in your favor, the more likely your Relocation is going to succeed deliciously. What Kind of Evidence Do I Need for my Relocation Case? Certain types of evidence and documents would be helpful evidence for a successful relocation case. An important factor that the Court will consider is comparing the education opportunities in each debated location. Showing that your children will be attending a good school with activities and sports they enjoy can play in your favor. If you are relocating because of a better job opportunity, showing the job offer letter with a higher salary and better benefits would also be helpful. Having extended family nearby at the new location can also be helpful. This can be presented by showing that you are moving near the child’s grandparents or cousins, for example. Alternatively, showing that you are moving to a tight-knit and established community, like moving back to an old neighborhood of yours. Another factor the court would view in your favor is if the other parent’s time with the children would be minimally impacted. Being able to show that you and the other parent have good communication and you are willing to come up with a reasonable schedule for the children to see their other parent will help a judge see that the relocation would go over smoothly. What are the Consequences of Moving Without the Court’s Approval? If you move or “relocate” within the definition of Illinois law without informing the Court and the children’s other parent, there could be serious consequences if the other parent does not consent. The Court has the power to order that your children be brought back to their “home state.” Generally, a child’s home state is the state in which a child has lived with a parent for six consecutive months (or since birth if the child is younger than six months). Relocation When Other Parent Fails to Exercise Parenting Time Based on Illinois case law, Courts tend to grant relocation in cases where the other parent fails to exercise their parenting time. If the other parent regularly participates in parenting time, the Court will be reluctant to allow relocation. Especially if the child has family in Illinois. Although under the statute, the notice does not need to be provided more than sixty (60) days, you should give the notice as soon as possible. It is important to discuss a potential move with the other parent. It is also a good idea to go through the statute and think about the factors and the pluses and minuses in your favor. The best-case scenario when a divorced parent wants to relocate with children is to talk to the other parent and try to reach an agreement. If the other parent will not agree, it is important to seek legal guidance from an experienced relocation attorney. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/relocate-with-children-after-divorce/
Parties who are divorcing are not typically known for communicating particularly well. This lack of positive communication more often than not leads to the demise of the marriage. So, at a pivotal time in your life, when you are trying to figure out how you will allocate all of your property and debts, as well as manage major decision-making and a schedule for your children, it is particularly challenging when your spouse refuses to communicate. All couples enter the divorce process in a different position, and some are better communicators than others. Some clients are able to work out the entire agreement as to the division of property and allocation of parental responsibilities without any attorney involvement. Some parties do not communicate at all and will only speak through their respective attorneys. Some couples fall somewhere on the middle of this spectrum. The Right Tools to Improve Communication No matter where you start in the divorce process, it almost always benefits your family if you and your spouse can learn to communicate better, in the long run. That can start with the divorce process and the divorce process can help parties to implement the tools to be better co-parents and future communicators when the right resources are employed. Some parties fare better with a neutral third party involved in their communications. This could be someone such as a mediator, who works with the parties to try and come to a resolution on issues that are contested in a non-adversarial fashion. Parties can choose to mediate with their attorneys participating or by themselves with a mediator. Usually, when parties have difficulty communicating or a substantial amount of issues to work through, the attorneys will be involved in the mediation process. This helps the situation when the attorneys are mediation-minded and try to be conflict-neutral. They can be their client’s voice on issues the client may not want to discuss with their spouse present. They can help counsel their client in breakout rooms between mediation sessions to try and advise them as to why something is or is not a good idea, as opposed to going to mediation alone and speaking to their attorney afterward about whether what they agreed to is a good idea or not. The mediation process is not binding, so it is entirely possible that a party could mediate an entire agreement alone with a mediator and their spouse, and then go to an attorney and find out the deal is terrible, and then the mediated agreement is rescinded, and the time and money spent on mediation is lost. Attorney-assisted mediation can prevent this from happening. The attorneys also, as the mouthpieces for the parties, can communicate with each other on behalf of their clients, based upon what their clients would like expressed. While this communication is not direct, it is still communication and it is still the parties trying to work towards a resolution. Coaches, Therapists and More For parties who do not speak at all and share minor children, there are experts who work in this field who have built practices upon getting parents who are divorcing to better communicate with one another. There are co-parenting coaches and co-parenting therapists, some of whom are attorneys, or psychiatrists, who will work both separately and together with parties to try and help them achieve optimal communication for the benefit of their children. They aren’t exactly mediators; they are neutral third parties who coach the parents or teach them the skills to get them on the same page and to try to get them to organically communicate effectively going forward. These experts sometimes stay involved beyond the entry of the divorce to continue to work with the parties going forward, to try and get them to continue to communicate. Parenting Courses There are also parenting courses the parties can take which help with becoming better communicators. In fact, all divorcing parents/all parents of children in a parentage case (non-married parents who separate) have to complete a parenting class pursuant to Illinois Supreme Court Rules. However, some of the aforementioned experts, such as parenting coaches or co-parenting therapists, also offer trainings and courses to help parties become better communicators, which the parties can agree to take. Internet Apps Finally, there are applications on the internet that help when a spouse refuses to communicate during divorce. These apps permit parties to communicate with each other directly via messaging similar to emailing, which tracks conversations. These applications can also track expenses, allow for shared calendars and more. They will tell the other parent if the party logged into the application and if and when they read a message that was sent, which forces parties to respond in a timely manner because they know the other party can see if they read the message. The application tracks the conversations and can allow the parties to purchase a certified record of the conversation for use in court, so parties tend to communicate in a more productive manner understanding a judge can read everything that is said. There are even “tone monitors” in some applications, which light up “green”, “yellow”, or “red” depending on the tone of what the person is typing, to try and help the author maintain a neutral or positive tone in their messages. Finally, a Guardian ad Litem or a Child Representative can also be linked into the parties’ accounts so that they can read messages on an ongoing basis. Having this monitoring often can help the parties communicate in a positive manner. It is always in the best interest of the parties to communicate effectively during the divorce process. If you find yourself in a situation where you and your ex are not communicating better, contact one of our divorce attorneys to see what your options are. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/my-spouse-refuses-to-communicate-during-divorce/ Navigating the complexities of child custody can be a daunting task for any parent, and for unmarried couples, it often brings forth a unique set of challenges. In this blog, we delve into the heart of the matter, exploring commonly asked questions surrounding child custody in unmarried relationships. Whether you're embarking on the journey of co-parenting or seeking guidance on legal considerations, discover answers sharing the key aspects that shape the landscape of child custody for unmarried parents. Are Parental Responsibilities the Same as Custody? While many people still use the word “custody” in child-related matters, Illinois no longer uses this term in legal proceedings. Instead, Illinois adopted new phrases: “parenting time” and “parental responsibilities”. “Parenting time” refers to the children’s schedule for where they live and spend their time. This applies to the regular parenting time schedule and also to special events, birthdays, holidays, and school breaks, too. It outlines on what days and times the children are with which parent. The court will enter an order that outlines the parenting time schedule. In so doing, the court allows the parents (and the children) to have a set schedule upon which they can rely. This promotes consistency and a routine for all parties involved, and this certainty is very beneficial for the children. “Allocation of parental responsibilities” refers to how the parents make decisions for the children. Depending on the situation, a court can allocate decisions to one or both parents. There are four main areas where decisions regarding the children must be made: (1) education; (2) health care; (3) religion; and (4) extra-curricular activities. For example, parents may have joint decision making on extra-curricular activities. This may mean that the parents have to agree upon what activities their children can engage in prior to enrolling their children in said activities. The court will enter what is referred to as an “Allocation Judgment”, which will state how decisions are to be made for the children. These orders also allow the parents to have set rules and processes that they can turn to when decision-making situations arise. Visit our Chicago Child Custody Lawyers page to learn more Who has the Allocation of Parental Responsibilities when there is No Marriage and No Court Order? In a situation where: (1) there are unmarried parents, (2) there is no previous order allocating a parent to have parental responsibilities, and (3) no one has signed a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity (what is commonly referred to as a “VAP”), the mother is presumed to have the Allocation of Parental Responsibilities. Either parent can petition the court for an allocation of these parental responsibilities. Once the court is involved, and paternity is established, the court will assign the responsibilities. Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity A Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity, or a “VAP”, is a document that the father can sign to, as the name suggests, voluntarily acknowledge that he is the father of the child. Signing a VAP is a presumption of paternity under Illinois law. What if the Father Signs a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity? Just because a father signs a VAP does not mean he automatically is guaranteed parenting time or an allocation of parental responsibilities. To do so, the father should file a petition with the Court to request 1- an Order of Parentage; 2- a parenting time schedule; and 3- an allocation of parental responsibilities. Going through this process can be beneficial for the parents and the children involved, even if the parties are still in a relationship. Not only does it establish the paternity for the children, but also it allows for the parties to have formal documents from the Court outlining the responsibilities for all involved. The parents would also know what parenting the children would look like if the parties were to separate. This certainty is very important for the children of parties, as it promotes stability and consistency in the children’s lives should their parents separate. This can minimize the amount of questions that a parent or child may have in a time of change to their family structure. Agreed Allocation of Parental Responsibilities and Parenting Time Judgment Despite what one might think, getting a court to enter an order establishing parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities does not have to be a contested, litigious matter. In fact, many times parents are able to come to an agreement on what their schedule and responsibilities are. When that happens, our office then drafts the required documents for the parties, and these can be entered as an uncontested matter before the Court at just one court appearance as opposed to a long, drawn-out process that may require multiple court appearances and testimony on the matter. It is also possible to modify a previously existing parenting time schedule or allocation of parental responsibilities. This, too, can be done by agreement without becoming a contentious process. For unmarried parents in the Chicago area, one of our Chicago child custody lawyers can help assist you in any child custody or parental responsibilities litigation that may be required to reach a modification. Contact us today for a free consultation. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/child-custody-tips-for-unmarried-parents/ The Illinois Court system promotes the parties settling their disputes by way of agreements. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (the “IMDMA”) allows for parties to enter into agreements to resolve their case. Specifically, Section 502 of the IMDMA (750 ILCS 5/502) provides that parties may enter into agreements to resolve issues pertaining to the dissolution of their marriage. This type of agreement is referred to as Marital Settlement Agreement. What is a Marital Settlement Agreement? A Marital Settlement Agreement (commonly referred to as an “MSA”) is an agreement between two parties who are seeking a divorce. MSAs are able to be formed to fit the individual needs of the couple divorcing. MSAs can contain provisions for the division of real estate, personal property, checking and savings accounts, retirement accounts, and more. They can also address issues regarding child support and maintenance, too. In a way, MSAs are written contracts between the divorcing parties dictating how the separation will proceed, and who will get what assets. The Court will then incorporate the MSA into the Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage (as long as the Court does not find the MSA to be unconscionable), which finalizes the parties’ divorce process. What are the Benefits of a Marital Settlement Agreement? Marital Settlement Agreements have many benefits. Some of the benefits include a party spending less time in court, spending less money on the process, facing less hostility between the other party, and, potentially, reaching a faster resolution. Less Court Time Most people prefer to spend as much time outside of a courtroom as possible. Sometimes, parties may agree not only to the divorce itself but also to the terms of the settlement. These are what we refer to as “uncontested matters”. In an uncontested divorce, our office will work on drafting an MSA based on the agreed-upon terms, and typically there is only one court appearance required. Compare this scenario to one in which the parties do not agree: in a contested matter, the parties may require multiple hearings before the Court before they are able to come to an agreement or before a trial is held. If a party is uncomfortable or nervous about the courtroom environment, this can cause a lot of additional stress. Sometimes a case can begin as a contested matter but later be settled by an agreement. There is no set point during a case during which a settlement can occur — they can happen at any point so long as the parties are in agreement. Less Expensive Uncontested matters usually require a lot fewer hours of attorney time to reach a completed MSA. The parties may go over a draft MSA a few times before reaching a final version, and that is very normal. Even with revisions going back and forth, the MSA drafting in an uncontested matter can cost relatively minimal attorney fees and costs. Compare this scenario with that of a contested matter. The more times a case appears before a Court, the more pleadings that must be drafted, and the more research that must be completed can cause a client to incur large invoices from their attorney. For example, going to a trial requires the attorney to not only spend long hours in the courtroom on the day of trial, but also requires them to review the case leading up to the trial, not to mention the long process of getting a case ready for trial. In such a situation, the amount of money spent on a divorce can be substantial. When cases are unnecessarily litigated, the parties can instead attempt to negotiate, thereby decreasing the amount of time and money that will be spent on the case if a successful settlement is reached. Less Hostility When parties are able to communicate between themselves to reach a settlement, it can create a less hostile or acrimonious process. This can be not only helpful for the parties in the midst of the divorce but also can be helpful for the rest of the family. For example, when parties are able to peacefully come to an agreement to end their marriage and enter an MSA, the children of those parents are able to exist in a healthier environment. Reaching an amicable conclusion to a marriage can set the standard for how the parties will interact after the Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage is entered, in that parties who know they can effectively communicate with the other can attempt to reach agreements in the future for any issues not contemplated when drafting an MSA. This promotes a healthier family dynamic for the children and parties moving into the future. Faster Resolution Many times, by the time the parties have accepted that it is best to get a divorce, they are anxious to get the process over with in order to embrace the next stage of their life. Reaching an agreement through entering an MSA is a great way to reach that finish line faster. As long as the parties are able to cooperate and complete their respective requirements in a timely manner, then a Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage can occur much more quickly than engaging in an extended litigation. For example, if a case requires extensive litigation, a divorce will not take a matter of months. Instead, it can take upwards of a year and a half, depending on the situation. Marital Settlement Agreements are a great way to reduce the time spent waiting for the divorce to be finalized. It is always recommended that parties have an experienced divorce attorney representing them at all stages of the dissolution process, whether your case is contested or not, in order to best protect your interests. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/benefits-of-a-marital-settlement-agreement/ When considering the best divorce attorney for your case, there are a lot of factors that go into the decision. You want someone trustworthy, that will be able to determine which fights are worth fighting and which fights are worth settling by agreement. You want someone whose guidance you can trust. You want someone who, either personally or through their profession, has a lot of experience dealing with the challenges that your case presents. In making the decision about which attorney to work with, one of the things that you will want to consider is whether to hire a male or female attorney to serve as your champion in court. There are real benefits to working with a female divorce attorney. #1 — Female Divorce Attorneys Are Good Team Players You should know that every lawyer has a different style of practicing law. There will be attorneys who, after having one initial consultation with you, make the vast majority of the decisions for the remainder of your case. They consider it their job to “quarterback” the case for you, regardless of your priorities and preferences. You are significantly less likely to have an attorney seize control and power from you in this way when you work with a female attorney. Female attorneys are far more likely to listen to the issue and present various options for how to approach a resolution to the challenge. They will talk with you about their recommendations on the various options, and as a result, empower you to direct your own dissolution of marriage case. This all may sound daunting, and you may like the “quarterback” is a better option. The only problem with that approach is that, frequently, that can involve unnecessary legal bills, and losing battles you didn’t know you didn’t have to fight, which frequently leads to people settling for a deal on their case that is less than equitable only to end the misery of the divorce case. #2 — Female Divorce Attorneys Are Hard Workers You may think it’s likely that most divorce attorneys are hard workers, regardless of their gender. You may be surprised to learn that many attorneys do not prioritize elbow grease in their approach to your case. You want someone who will be diligent, thoughtful, courageous, and passionate about protecting your interests and standing up for you in court. For that reason, I recommend working with a female divorce attorney. Female divorce attorneys made it through law school with added pressures over and above their male peers. They frequently have young children to care for, careers, or full-time jobs to attend to, in addition to their new law school responsibilities. They frequently have other responsibilities — volunteering positions, church or religious responsibilities, and commitments to their communities over and above their male peers. They’ve learned the hard way — trial by fire — to keep all of the plates spinning in the air. Diligence, scheduling, and handling a dozen other important responsibilities are frequently the status quo for a female attorney. A female attorney will be able to handle your challenges and keep all of the plates spinning for your divorce case. Another thing to keep in mind is that a female divorce attorney will be able to cut through the noise and focus on the big issues. While a male attorney might hear a story about a limited issue and decide to respond from the hip, a female divorce attorney is good at witnessing and keeping track of trends, things that keep coming up over and over, and use those trends to establish a story about your case that the judge on your case will care about more than limited one-offs. #3 — Female Divorce Attorneys Are More Communicative About Your Options and Preferences Traditionally, female attorneys are better at case investigation and follow-up questions than male attorneys. If you need an attorney to present possible solutions to an issue you are experiencing in your divorce case, you are going to want an attorney who can ask the questions they need to ask in order to arrive at a recommendation. If that recommendation is taking the matter to the Court, then the information they gained by a thorough investigation into the allegations will be the factual basis for the relief you are seeking. Sound dry and boring? Not by a mile. Let’s say, for example, that during the course of your marriage, your spouse, Ross, paid the mortgage on the house. Then, one evening, you come home and find out that he’s been having an affair with his British paramour, Emily. When you discover the affair, Ross decides to move out and move to London to be with Emily. He stops paying the mortgage and leaves you to fend for yourself. At this point, you have several options. You can ask him to agree to continue making the house payments while the divorce case is pending. If he doesn’t agree, you can bring an action in Court to require him to pay the mortgage. You can bring an action in Court to list the house for sale. You can ask the Court to require him to return to Illinois and pay you back for any money you spent on the mortgage while he was away. Obviously, this moment in your case will hurt. When you tell the story to your divorce attorney, it is very normal to leave a lot of information out — things that will matter to the Court. A female divorce attorney is going to be more likely to get the relevant information from you the first time you talk to her about it because she will have been used to conducting a thorough case review and factual review with you. Then, she and you can figure out your next steps together. #4 — Frequently, Female Divorce Attorneys Are Moms If children are involved, one of the harder aspects of your case will be how to approach your coparenting relationship with your former spouse. Female divorce attorneys have been there. They’ve breastfed. They’ve supporting a child with a 101-degree fever. They’ve coordinated gymnastics events, basketball events, space camps, summer camps, field trips, and museum expeditions with their own children so it’s easy for them to see when something will or could be an issue. They know the lengths to which you go to protect and support your children and give them every possible advantage because they have done the same with their own children. A female divorce attorney will be able to serve as a second pair of ears about things that need to be communicated to the other side, or whether to approach the issue with the support of a third party like a pediatrician, child therapist, school counselor, teacher, or the Judge. Looking for a Chicago Female Divorce Attorney? Contact Anderson & Boback Today Anderson & Boback is a team of dynamic, female attorneys who are ready and able to take on your case and approach it with grace, kindness, courage, and sheer grit — the same grit they use in their everyday lives. The feedback most provided by our clients at the end of their cases is that they appreciated the skills, care, and compassion we use every day in approaching each individual case. That feedback comes from the lived experience of every woman on our team, and we love harnessing our power to help our clients and get them results. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/benefits-of-hiring-a-female-divorce-attorney/ Over the years, Do-It-Yourself Divorce Kits, or DIY Divorce Kits, have been gaining in popularity throughout the United States. They have been advertised as being “simple, affordable, and fast” and advertised as only taking “3 easy steps”. However, are these kits too good to be true? Let’s explore exactly what a do-it-yourself divorce is, what it requires, and why a do-it-yourself divorce might not be for you. What is a do-it-yourself divorce kit? A do-it-yourself divorce kit, or DIY divorce kit is essentially the required paperwork package that you and your spouse need to complete your divorce in the State and County you live in. Each State, and sometimes County, will have a set of paperwork required to present to the Court before you are able to get legally divorced. In Illinois, this paperwork package will likely include a form for a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, an Appearance form for one of the spouses, a Summons form, a Military Affidavit, a form for a Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage, if you have children a form for a Parenting Order and Allocation of Parental Rights and Responsibilities, and possibly a few extra forms depending on the specific County in Illinois where you are planning to get divorced. There are also directions in the kit advising you how to fill out the forms in case it is not clear. Again, these kids vary depending on the State and also the County in that State in which you are getting divorced, so the kits and forms are not interchangeable. Is a do-it-yourself divorce kit right for you and your divorce situation? A DIY divorce kit can only be used if you and your spouse are in total agreement with all parenting issues and financial issues. This is what is called an uncontested divorce case. If you and your spouse have discussed and you both know exactly what you want to do regarding parenting time, decision-making for the minor children, how to divide up the property, and what support should be paid, then a DIY might make sense for your case. If there is any disagreement whatsoever, even on a small issue, then a DIY won’t work for you. The DIY divorce forms are meant to be filled out and submitted to the court without the court having to get involved and help with disagreements. If a do-it-yourself divorce kit is right for you and your spouse, will it save you money? One of the main reasons couples want to use a DIY divorce kit, is to save money on attorney’s fees and costs. Most attorneys require a significant lump sum retainer payment made up front, or a flat fee lump sum payment for an uncontested divorce upon case. On the other hand, a DIY divorce kit purchased online can be purchased for about $299 (based on a Google search), give or take a few hundred depending on the state and the county. If the fee for the divorce kit does not cover the filing fees of the court for the filing and completion of the divorce case, then those would cost about another $300-$400. Overall, based on the cost of a DIY divorce, even with the addition of court fees that need to be paid, it looks like the DIY divorce kit would save you money upfront for the overall divorce process and completion. What are the drawbacks to using a DIY divorce kit if it seems to be right for your case? Although the cost of a DIY divorce kit is appealing, and you believe everything is agreed upon between you and your spouse, serious issues can and likely will result from going about the divorce yourself and not employing the assistance of an attorney. Money spent on an attorney from the onset of the case would be well spent to avoid future issues that could come up from an improperly drafted or incomplete divorce judgment or parenting agreement. Financial Matters The divorce kit cannot advise you of the intricacies of law, and what you are entitled to under those laws. There are specific formulas used to calculate child support and spousal support, and certain laws that determine whether someone qualifies for spousal support/maintenance that without an attorney, you might not know about. There are also tax implications that come with dividing property and assets that need to be considered when trying to reach an agreement on these issues with your spouse. The same goes for dividing retirement accounts or the division of stocks and brokerage accounts. Dividing the marital residence can also be complicated depending on the mortgage, what the equity is, and whose name is on what. Parenting Agreements Even more worrying is what could happen if there is a mistake made or something not considered before entering into a final parenting agreement, or allocation judgment. Your involvement with your children could be negatively impacted if you sign an agreement that is not in your favor. Parenting agreements can only be modified based on very specific requirements, so you could be stuck with an agreement that hurts your relationship with your children if you don’t have an attorney drafting it or even reviewing it before it is entered. If there are mistakes made, and you need to come back to court to fix them, it will not be cheap as you likely will need the help of an attorney. Spending money initially for an attorney to represent you in your divorce is worth it in the long run to prevent mistakes in your agreements, and to prevent having to pay even more money later to fix those mistakes in court. Consider employing the assistance of a skilled Chicago divorce attorney, like those at Anderson & Boback, to assist you with your divorce case to make sure no mistakes are made, and you are getting the benefit of your divorce agreement with your spouse. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: illinoislawforyou.com/blog/do-it-yourself-divorce-kits-what-you-need-to-know/ At the beginning of a child custody case, it can seem pretty daunting to contact an attorney to discuss the things that have been going on in your life and the lives of your children over the last few years. There are a few ways to prepare for a child custody attorney consultation, and the most important thing about it is to consider what it is that you want the outcome to be. It’s a difficult decision for all of the parents in a case involving minor children because so much goes into figuring out what is in their best interests and how things would work after the paperwork is signed and the case has no pending date with a judge. Here are some things to consider before speaking with an attorney you would like to assist you on a case: 1. What are your goals and preferences for parenting time and decision-making responsibilities? If you and your ex are both involved parents who exercise sound judgment when making parenting decisions and if you get along reasonably well enough to make decisions that will serve your children’s best interests, then you may want to consider a liberal and frequent parenting time schedule that lets the kids see each of you regularly. On the other end of the spectrum, if there’s a history of abuse (emotional, mental, or physical), your history with the other parent, will be definitely something to discuss with the attorney so that they can do whatever is necessary to protect you and the children from any possible future abuse. 2. What are the current parenting time and decision-making agreements and disputes? If you and your co-parent have a customary or previously-agreed to parenting time schedule, and that schedule is going well and the child is adjusted to it, that is something to inform your attorney about. As the old adage goes – "if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it." If there is a custom that is definitely not working, that is also something to discuss with your attorney – for example, if the other parent consistently needs to reschedule or bail on their agreed-to parenting time, that is something you can explain to the Court and have the Court enter an order reflecting a diminished schedule that that parent will foreseeably be able to exercise. If you and your co-parent get along with respect to parenting time, but not decision-making on things like your kids’ schools or doctors, or medications, that is an issue to discuss with an attorney. Do your best to reflect the other parent’s perspectives on the issues with a neutral perspective so that the attorney can make sure to address both of your concerns and to offer helpful and solution-focused advice. 3. What is your child's relationship like with each parent? Another point of discussion I would mention when you are speaking with your attorney is whether the child is particularly close to one parent versus the other parent. Usually, children will have a bond with both of their parents but will be significantly closer to one parent than the other. That is totally fine, as long as it’s not the product of undue pressure or alienation by the other parent. If the other parent spends no time – by choice – with your kids, that is something to discuss with the attorney. The Court will usually and customarily allocate a great share of time and responsibilities to the parent who actually wants those responsibilities and who has customarily been the parent who is closer to the children. 4. Are there any urgent issues or safety concerns? If there are any aspects of your parenting time and responsibilities with the other parent that the Court should know about and quickly address, that is something to feature at the beginning of the conversation with an attorney. Specifically, if your child would be in danger of abuse, whether it be emotional, physical, or mental, were the other parent to be allocated unfettered or unsupervised time with the children, that is something to mention and discuss with your attorney, in addition to all of the evidence you can present to the Court to inform them about that issue. The right child custody lawyer will prioritize your goals and preferences for the co-parenting issues in the case and will listen to your concerns and offer guidance about the best way of proceeding. An experienced attorney will weigh any evidence you have about the other parent or your own parenting, and then tell you about what you can expect when you go to a family court and ask for a ruling in your favor or bending in favor of your requests. The key to a great attorney-client relationship is working together to create solutions (instead of problems) for you, and hopefully, your children. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/tips-to-prepare-for-a-child-custody-attorney-consultation/ Unfortunately, family courts frequently hear allegations of parental unfitness. It is one of the more regularly alleged allegations in a family court proceeding between the parties involved in child custody or dissolution of marriage action. Accusing the other parent in your case of being unfit to have parenting time or responsibilities is a serious allegation, and the courts take it very seriously. Suppose one parent raises an allegation that the other parent is in some way not fit enough to have liberal and frequent time and decision-making responsibilities. In that case, the court will appoint a neutral third-party attorney to conduct an investigation into those allegations and make recommendations thereon about the truth and significance of the allegations and to make recommendations to the Court about parenting time and decision-making responsibilities. Visit our Chicago Child Custody Lawyers page to learn more Illinois deems parents who cannot be entrusted with the care of their minor children unfit, but this exists in a legal gray area. There are, as with many things in family court, degrees of unfitness the court will consider, and which must be convincingly established and essentially proven before the Court will significantly diminish the parent’s responsibilities over and rights to have time with their children. 10 Things Courts Consider Evidence of an Unfit Parent Here are some of the things the Court will consider evidence of an unfit parent:
You’ll notice that list includes things like having the money to put the child in a warm winter coat in the winter and not doing so. It does not seek to punish parents with limited financial means for having no ability to provide a name-brand coat for the child. That list also includes things like ongoing neglect of the children – where they leave for the weekend and tell an older child to step in as caregiver for younger children for no reason. That can also include things like failing to respect a transgender child’s preferred gender pronouns or their chosen name. Suppose the other parent is punishing the child for acting out or being disrespectful by forcing the child to go without food for a week or to sleep in the snow. In that case, that is abuse, and the Court will be much more likely to enter an Order restricting that parent’s parenting time rights or decision-making authority. Evidence - Not Just Allegations The Court will want to see evidence – not just allegations – about this abuse or the other parent’s fitness before entering a finding that the parent is unfit. Evidence can include a lot of different things – photographs, medical records, police reports, court orders from other cases, communications in text messages, or using a court-purpose parenting communications application. Suppose you’ve received communications from your child’s school teachers, a social worker, or counselors about something going on with the other parent, like the list above. In that case, you will want to present that information to your attorney to determine how to get that information to the Judge. A good family law attorney will help you organize this information and present your case to the Judge, or even better, reach an agreement with the other parent that denies them time and decision-making responsibilities until they seek and gain an improvement in their ability to safely exercise their time with the child. That is usually a long road with a lot of progress necessary for a parent exhibiting the types of things courts equate with an unfit parent. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: illinoislawforyou.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-unfit-parent/ It is no secret that parties who are divorcing typically have difficulty communicating with each other. That being said, sometimes a divorcing spouse or parent will flat-out refuses to communicate at all. This is particularly worrisome when there are minor children involved, as the parents will still be forced to communicate for the foreseeable future about issues relative to their minor children. Even parents who do not communicate well or have sole allocation of parental responsibilities, divorced parents have to communicate with each other at times throughout the course of raising their children. There is simply no avoiding it. Thankfully, when minor children are involved, there are several options parties may utilize to try and improve communication with the other parent.
When a Divorcing Spouse Refuses to Communicate Parents who are divorcing will always have things that need to be communicated to one another, and when they are bad communicators, it can get ugly. In our experience Chicago divorce attorneys, we've found there are some helpful strategies that can improve the communication process now and in the future. Use a Parenting AppOne way to try and streamline communication between parents is to use a parenting application ("app"), such as Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents. These applications are a place where the parents can send each other messages and it allows the sender to see, at a minimum, when the message was read, if there was a reply, or sometimes, even if someone logged into the application but didn’t open the message. Creates a Certified Record of All Conversations More importantly, these applications can create a certified record of all of the conversations within a certain time frame for purposes of utilizing same in court. This is much cleaner and simpler than having to go through text messages or emails. Additionally, depending upon which program the parties use, the application may have a “tone monitor” which tells the drafter if the message has a green light (OK to send), a yellow light (may want to rephrase/could be perceived badly) or a red light (do not send) to allow them to know if the message they are sending should be well received. These applications sometimes have calendars as well as expense trackers and places where invoices and receipts can be uploaded to allow for reimbursements. Further, the applications allow third parties to access the conversations and portals if you approve them, so your attorney or your child's Guardian Ad Litem or Child Representative can log in and review items that you want them to see. Additionally, having these “watching eyes” a lot of times encourages people to communicate better and more positively than simple text messages and emails. Appoint a Co-Parenting Coach or Co-Parenting Therapist There is also the possibility of using a co-parenting coach or a co-parenting therapist to assist with communication issues. These folks provide a live service and meet with both parties jointly to discuss communication issues. The therapist or coach will provide feedback about how they can modify their communication to make it work. Having this third-party neutral who focuses on improving the parties’ communication and improving their co-parenting can be a huge help to parents who want to communicate better but have no idea how to do that. This is not couples counseling or therapy. Instead, this third party works with the parents solely to improve their communication and coparenting relationship to make the situation more functional for the family. Attorney Assisted Mediation Attorney-assisted mediation is another option for divorcing or separating couples with trouble communicating. Generally, parties participate in regular mediation through the courts in Illinois; however, their lawyers are not present. Some mediators might be able to engage in a mediation session while keeping parties in separate rooms so they don’t communicate at all, but this doesn’t help them going forward. Having attorneys present for mediation is often a good way to allow the parties to stay in the same room with a mediator but still feel that they have someone advocating for them, especially if they are unlikely to advocate for themselves in a mediation-type environment. This can get the parties talking, albeit through their attorneys, but they are present, and it can open the lines of communication. Learn how our Chicago Child Custody Lawyers can help Good Communication Makes Better Co-Parents Communication may have been a reason the marriage deteriorated, but it is an important skill required for parties to coexist effectively, especially when minor children are involved. Working on communication after a divorce and learning to function with each other in a different capacity as co-parents will make all of the difference to you and your family now and in the future. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/blog/divorcing-a-spouse-that-refuses-to-communicate/ |
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