You know your spouse is a narcissist, and for that very reason, you know your divorce is going to be more difficult than it should be. Due to the difficulties that come with a narcissistic spouse, some people stay married longer than they should. Once a decision has finally been made though, and so long as you know how narcissists deal with divorce, you will be prepared.
Common Questions About Narcissists and Divorce As Chicago divorce attorneys, we have spent decades helping clients divorce narcissists. Here are answers to some of the common questions surrounding narcissists and divorce. What exactly is a narcissist? Since you have lived with your narcissist, you will recognize the signs. A narcissist is self-centered, more than the average person. This person will never admit that they are wrong, and they have to control everything. In a divorce case, we often have problems with narcissists handing over important documents and their version of the “truth” is often distorted. Since there is little to no compromise when dealing with a narcissist, you almost always have to take your case to trial. However, a good lawyer who is used to working with narcissists can steer the case to settlement. For that reason, hiring someone who knows how to deal with a narcissist is very important. How is a divorce going to be any different knowing my spouse is a narcissist? Going through a divorce is difficult enough, and when you know you are dealing with a narcissist, you have to change the strategy of getting the case finalized. First, you will often deal with emergency motions that stretch the truth, and typically those motions are orders of protection. You have to be prepared for that. Before the case even gets started though, tell your attorney about your spouse and that you believe they are a narcissist. You might not think it is important, but lawyers strategize to get you the best possible outcome. Knowing an important fact, like the fact that your spouse is a narcissist will help develop that strategy. If I’ve decided to divorce, what should I do first? Once you’ve decided to divorce know that going into the process, the truth will be distorted. Knowing that, make sure you have all of your facts lined up. If you purchased your house during the marriage with a loan from your parents, have that document handy, as you know there will be an argument that it was not really a loan, but a gift. Everything that you know to be the truth will suddenly be something you have to prove. Get your documents in line, all of your bank statements, all of your investment accounts, and make sure you have many years’ worth of these types of documents. Settlement offers have been made and accepted, but then he keeps changing his mind. What should I do? You’ve hired a divorce attorney and settlement offers have been made and accepted, but your spouse keeps changing his mind. This is what narcissists do. Knowing that, have everything documented and written on paper. Even when you have a signed document, a narcissist will try to argue that it is not an accurate document. To their core, there is a desire to keep you off balance and to make you feel like you are the one missing something. A clear record avoids that. And although your spouse may be a narcissist, the other lawyer will not like the game playing. A clear written record of what was said and the action plan, are essential to ending your case quickly. Everything in my divorce is delayed, constantly. Is there anything I can do? Nothing is more aggravating than a case that just drags on and on. Unfortunately, a lot of judges will allow this to happen, so it is imperative that you are prepared. First, make sure you are not the cause of the delay. It is hard for your attorney to complain about your spouse’s timeliness if you still have not done what you are supposed to do. Make sure your discovery is completed, organized, and updated. Delays happen when updates are not timely made as well. When you go into court, know exactly what you will be asking for. Discuss the court date with your attorney to find out exactly what will be accomplished for the upcoming court date. You may not be able to chart the exact course of the litigation, but the case will move much more quickly if your lawyer is telling the judge where the case needs to go next. Delays are a narcissists’ best friend, so be ready to tell the court what needs to happen next so that the case does not stagnate. If I have domestic violence or other abuse in my case, will it be any different if my spouse is a narcissist? Of course, it will be. As always, if you suspect that your spouse will inflict abuse upon you, then the case should not be started with you in the house. An order of protection may be necessary, which would move your spouse from the house and not you. If you think you will need to leave the house, plan it. Make sure you have copies of all important paperwork. Remove anything from the house that you really care about, because it will not be there for you to receive it later. Take your pets with you, as you will unlikely see them again if you do not. I will need child support and maintenance; will it be harder to get support when my spouse who makes most of the money is a narcissist? Delay and control will please your spouse, so be prepared. Make sure your financial documents are in order and that your lawyer accepts no delays. There will be lies and intimidation, so do not back down and make sure that you are pushing the case forward. Threats and intimidation will be what drives a narcissist, so be emotionally ready. I cannot tell you how many times someone has called me crying because he told her, “I am going to make sure you never see the kids again,” or “if you don’t drop this case, I’m never going to pay you anything and you will never have enough money to fight me.” Some threaten to quit their jobs, and some actually do it. They cannot stand losing control and when you divorce them, that is exactly what is happening. Keep in mind that some narcissists will actually quit their job and force you into court to keep the fight going. The more prepared you are emotionally the better. Get a therapist and keep talking the problems out with professional guidance. Try and secure beneficial employment so you gain independence from your spouse. If the narcissist cannot scare you and intimidate you, they lose the fight. What types of things will I see in court knowing my spouse is a narcissist? Every case is different, but typically the spouse will make false allegations against you in an attempt to take custody from you, or if you have the children, they will refuse to pay child support. There will be lies about income and hiding of assets and/or money. Narcissists need to control you, so they will seek to delay the case, usually by not handing over their documents. Knowing what you will be dealing with and making the appropriate plans to thwart their tactics is essential. Make a list of what you want out of the divorce and stick to it. Do not let yourself be drawn into litigation about subjects where an agreement can be reached. In litigation, all too often people get into “litigation mode” and start fighting about everything. This is unnecessary. Do you really care who gets the George Forman Grill? Just because the other side wants to take every matter to the court, does not mean you need to then ramp up the case by being disagreeable. No one is counting each battle to see who the winner is, and most of the squabbles you’ll see are something where a middle ground exists. Most of the time I can find a middle ground for my clients, but when dealing with a narcissist, they keep moving the point of settlement. Clearly explain your position and what you will accept but be willing to move a little if you have to. It will depend on what the topic is of course but keeping a list of your most important topics on a list, will help keep you grounded. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/how-do-narcissists-deal-with-divorce/
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First, there was the debate about parents getting their Covid vaccines. Now that Covid vaccines for children are available, the debate is now about whether children should be vaccinated. For many divorced parents in Chicago, Covid vaccines for children are sparking co-parenting disputes. Should you need to go to court about this issue, the first place to look is to the language written in your parenting order.
What can I do if I do not have a parenting order? If there is no parenting order in place, then you can discuss the issue with the other parent and if no agreement can be had, you are free to do as you like. You can also have the court rule on the subject by bringing a motion about vaccinating your child. Keep in mind that if you and the other parent are on opposite sides of the vaccination issue, the court is likely to side with the child’s pediatrician. I have seen many parents bring this issue before the court (even before Covid), and unless there is a medical reason for not vaccinating, the judge is likely to side with the parent who seeks the vaccination. This vaccination is no different than other vaccines your child will receive throughout their lives, and the courts lean toward having your child vaccinated. What if I don’t want my child to get the Covid vaccine? If you don’t want your child vaccinated, then you need to have some evidence that supports your position. The best evidence is going to be a letter from your child’s pediatrician. You are unlikely to prevail if the child’s pediatrician is recommending the vaccination. I have shared decision-making with my ex, can I vaccinate my child even if we do not agree? In the vast majority of divorces, parents have an equal say in medical decisions. If there is no agreement on vaccinating your child and you have your child vaccinated anyway, you have not complied with the court’s order. What can the judge do to you though once the deed is done? Contempt is something within the judge’s power, but you are supposed to be given “the keys to your cell,” which means that the judge’s coercive powers can force you to do something or go to jail. You cannot undo the vaccination, so it is unclear exactly what the judge would do in that case. Judges are sticklers for having their orders followed and it is not advisable to take an action that places you in contempt of court. Judges have been known to make a transfer of custody when parenting orders are not being followed. Modify your judgment regarding the Covid vaccine instead of risking contempt of court. If the other parent is refusing to allow the Covid vaccine, ask the court for permission to vaccinate instead. It is always our firm’s recommendation that you do not violate the court’s order and when you have an agreement with the other parent and it becomes a court order, you must comply with the order or risk contempt. Judges will want to know why one parent does not want the child to be vaccinated, such as medical or religious reasons, and parents going into court will need evidence. Absent a good reason, most judges will require the vaccination. Consider adding language to your agreement that deals with the vaccination issue. Your parenting order will often times be modified during your child’s minority, but think about the issue of vaccination when drafting the initial parenting plan. What is the viewpoint on vaccinations in general? Some parents have vaccinated their children throughout their lives, but are not comfortable with this vaccine. Using the child’s pediatrician as a guide can be helpful for both of you to reach a decision, but some parents are not trusting the pediatrician with the Covid vaccine issue, which is yet another problem altogether. But if your pediatrician has been with your child for quite some time, hopefully, both parents trust this doctor. One clause in your agreement can deal with this issue and that clause can state that in the event of a disagreement on a medical issue, the parents shall utilize the pediatrician’s recommendation. What can I do if the other parent vaccinated my child without my consent? If there is no order in place giving you equal say in medical decisions, then the other parent has not done anything wrong and there is nothing you can do. But if there is an order and you were not consulted (or you were consulted and the Covid vaccination was done anyway) then the other parent has violated a court order. When a person does not abide by a court order, then the court can hold that parent in contempt. Our office has received many calls about this issue and it seems like grandparents and other relatives are taking children in for Covid vaccinations without the consent of one of the parents. If the grandmother or grandfather takes the child in for the vaccination and neither parent was aware of it or gave their consent, it isn’t likely going to end up with a contempt order against either parent. There might be some type of legal action against that grandparent, but the domestic relations judge cannot hold a non-party in contempt. The judge’s contempt powers include putting the non-complying parent in jail, so it is always advisable to obey the court’s orders. Is there anything else I can do aside from going into court to change the order? You can always seek mediation on the issue and perhaps a mediator can reach a middle ground between you and the other parent. Perhaps the parent does not want to vaccinate a 10-year-old but is willing to vaccinate once the child is 12 years old. Mediation is a great tool when there is a parenting decision that needs to be made which is not agreed upon. There will be many issues facing parents about their children and working on decisions together is always the best answer. If mediation does not work, then the court system is the only way to resolve your differences. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/child-custody/coparenting-disputes-over-covid-vaccines-for-children/ Questions about divorcing a missing spouse are not as uncommon as one might think. People often will separate from one another and go their separate ways without obtaining a formal divorce. Perhaps they are in the military and received a change of station, or are deployed to active duty. Perhaps they accept a job in a new state, or even in a foreign country. There are all sorts of reasons why people initially separate and no longer reside together, but do not obtain a formal legal separation nor file for divorce. In these scenarios, it can be difficult to later proceed with a divorce case, because oftentimes the party seeking the divorce does not know where their spouse is, and they have mysteriously disappeared!
Illinois law contemplates this exact scenario. It is still possible to divorce a spouse who is “missing” in the state of Illinois. However, some of the issues relative to the divorce may not be able to be decided right away. However, generally speaking, the court can enter a divorce decree if all steps are properly followed, and simply “reserve” the allocation of certain property or debts until such time as the Respondent files an Appearance in the case and elects to participate. So, how do you divorce a missing spouse? Options for Divorcing a Missing Spouse 1. You can file for entry of a default judgment against someone when you do not know where they are and have exhausted all options to find them. Courts want to see that you have done your due diligence to find the missing spouse and obtain their address for service of process. The court will explicitly ask you what attempts you have made to find the person and oftentimes you will be required to testify or file an affidavit listing all of the attempts you have made. Ways to Locate a Missing Spouse Things you can do to try and locate a missing spouse include hiring a private investigator to do a “skip trace” to try and locate a current address; call prior landlords to see if a forwarding address was left; call, email, text, or locate family members and friends of the person to try and obtain an address; conduct a google search; look for them on social media, linked in, Facebook/Meta, Instagram and other platforms; and more. The court needs to be satisfied that you have made every effort possible to try and locate the person before they will allow you to proceed to the next step. 2. If the Court believes you have exhausted all options, they may grant you permission to serve your spouse by “publication”. The next step will be to print a notice in the newspaper regarding the case that has been filed against your spouse, including all pertinent information about the case and the deadline for the Respondent to answer the complaint. The court permits this in hopes that the Respondent or a friend or family member will see the notice and notify them of the pending court action against them. This notice is typically published for no less than six (6) weeks. After the 6 weeks of publication, the court will require proof that you published notice of the case. If the court approves the notice of publication, the Respondent is deemed “served”. 3. Enter a Judgment for Dissolution by Default After the above steps are taken, the court can permit a divorce to be entered on a default basis. The court will usually reserve allocation of property and debts as well as support, meaning the Respondent can come back and file an appearance or answer later and the court will deal with property division or support at that time. For this reason, a divorce by default and publication is not ideal. However, it will get you actually divorced, which is the primary goal. But, it sets aside many issues for resolution at a later date, leaving them in limbo. The takeaway is that while “divorce by publication” is a way to get divorced when your spouse is missing, it is not ideal. The court is not going to allow litigants to get what they want while divorcing by publication and default because then there is no incentive for them to comply with due process laws and give actual notice to the person they are divorcing. By allowing the divorce, but reserving all issues, the court is encouraging the party seeking the divorce to still notify the other spouse (Respondent) and try to get them to participate if they are looking to obtain support or property. It is possible to divorce a spouse who is missing, however, it simply is not ideal. Speak to a Chicago Divorce Attorney About Divorcing a Missing Spouse Divorce can be complicated, especially when you are unable to locate your spouse. It is important to seek advice from an experienced divorce attorney to discuss your options and plan moving forward. At Anderson & Boback, our practice is dedicated to family and divorce law and we can guide you through the process of divorcing a missing spouse. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation with one of our Chicago divorce attorneys. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/divorcing-a-missing-spouse-in-illinois/ Are Family Law and Divorce Law the Same?
While the terms “family law attorney” and “divorce attorney” are often used synonymously, divorce is now considered to be just one part of the practice of family law. In Cook County, and other court systems, divorce and parentage cases used to be handled by separate judges in separate parts of the building. While once considered to be two discrete areas of law and practice, over time the judiciary recognize that while not exactly the same, these cases were close enough in fact and law that they should be combined into one area of the courthouse under the heading of Domestic Relations. The blending of divorce and parentage cases in many ways created the more general header of “family law attorney” versus “divorce attorney”, as it implied that an attorney working in family law was also knowledgeable about parentage cases, child support cases, grandparent visitations, and other cases outside the boundaries of divorce. For some attorneys, family law also goes beyond the area of practice most commonly known as “domestic relations” and may also include guardianships, adoptions, name changes, and other cases related to families that are heard in different court divisions. It is critical to know that not every lawyer who practices family law focuses on the exact same areas. More importantly, when hiring an attorney, you will want to be sure you have found one who works on your specific kind of case to ensure you have knowledgeable and experienced legal representation when going forward with your case. What Areas of Law Do Family Law Attorneys Handle? Beyond divorce, family law also encompasses parentages cases, which involve unmarried parents in litigation regarding their children, and can also include cases for formerly married couples, now divorced, who are seeking to enforce their marital settlement and parenting agreement or change them in post-decree cases. Family can also include cases where a grandparent is seeking visitation rights to their grandchild(ren), or cases to establish child support. In short, the practice of family law goes well beyond just the issue of divorce. Some attorneys, like the attorneys in our firm, also practice some areas of law pertaining to families, but that are considered to be outside of the areas of “domestic relations”. A good example of this would be guardianships. While most would consider guardianships to be an area of family law, guardianships are actually part of the Probate court. Adoptions and name changes are handled by still another division of the court, as they are considered to be a separate process from Domestic Relations, as well, even though adoption is most certainly a “family” matter, and a name change can be as well. What Should I Look for When Selecting An Attorney? When selecting an attorney, it is important to look at your case to first confirm what kind of case you have and confirm with the attorney that they specifically handle your kind of case. While most “family law” or “divorce” attorneys will say they handle divorce and parentage cases, you will need to inquire specifically about what kinds of cases they handle, particularly if you think your case falls outside of those two main practice areas of divorce and parentage actions. Likewise, if yours is a parentage case, you want to be sure you have a family law attorney who understands the nuances, and differences, between a divorce case and a parentage case. While many of the procedures and parts of the process are similar, they are not identical. An experienced family law attorney will know the differences when it comes to procedures and to drafting your parenting agreement. Further, you want to retain an attorney who can speak to experience with your kind of case, and the specific issues that you are dealing with, as part of their practice. When going through an attorney consultation, confirm your needs and what you should be looking for. If you are not married to the other parent of your child or your situation falls into some other legal category besides divorce, you will want to be sure you retain an attorney familiar with parentage cases and the other practice areas beyond divorce. If the attorney you are talking to refers to themselves explicitly as a “divorce” or “matrimonial” attorney, it is possible they may not be the best attorney for you as their designation indicate their specialty, and area of interest, which is exclusively divorce and issues surrounding marriage. If your case falls beyond the general boundaries of domestic relations into some of the other areas of law related to guardianships or adoptions, be sure that the attorney has specific experience in those divisions of the judiciary and their specific procedures and practices. You might find that an attorney who advertises themselves as a divorce or matrimonial attorney might practice exclusively within this niche, whereas a family law attorney may practice a wider range of cases that touch upon various aspects of family. The most important thing in selecting an attorney for your case is to be sure that whatever their title, the attorney you are hiring has specific knowledge of and experience in your kind of case to be sure they can adequately guide you through the legal process and help you obtain your desired result. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://bit.ly/3CPtAAa The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in recent years gave the courts in Illinois the authority to order therapy for a minor child, family counseling for one or more of the parties and the child, or parental education for one or more of the parties if it finds that the parents or all parties agree, that the child’s physical health is endangered or that the child’s emotional development is impaired, or that an abuse of allocated parenting time has occurred, or, one or both of the parties violated the judgment with regard to conduct affecting or in the presence of the minor child. {See 750 ILCS 5/607.6 regarding same}. However, the same statute previously explicitly indicated that all therapy would be confidential.
As of August 13, 2021, Illinois enacted Public Act 102-349, and the statute is now modified. It no longer has a provision stating that therapy would be strictly confidential. This kept all information obtained by a Guardian Ad Litem from a therapist out of litigation, as it was barred based upon the face of the statutory language. It now says, instead, that “counseling ordered under this section is subject to the Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities Confidentiality Act” and the federal “Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (otherwise known as “HIPAA”). So, you may be wondering what this means for Ilinois family law cases. While the act no longer indicates that therapy shall be confidential in nature, the therapy is confidential for adults unless they sign a proper release. They are permitted to sign a release to allow the treating therapist to speak to the Guardian Ad Litem, the Child Representative, or to testify in court if they wish to do so. How a Guardian Ad Litem Speaking to a Therapist Can Help This can help in certain scenarios. In the past, it would often be the case that the Court would order therapy, but then have no way of knowing how it is progressing, or if it was helping the family and resolving the underlying issues it sought to resolve. Now, there could be a window into what happens in therapy for the court if the parties sign the relevant releases. Many parties would be eager to do so to demonstrate that they are in compliance with what the court is requesting, or that they are progressing as the court wished, to get them towards a goal, such as to increase parenting time, or to remove restrictions on parenting time. Of course, it may not be advisable to sign a release to allow a Guardian ad Litem to speak to your treating therapist in all scenarios. It is imperative that one receives legal advice prior to signing any sort of release for a Guardian Ad Litem to speak with a treating therapist in a family law case. This will ensure that it will not do any harm or serve to prejudice you or the other party in any way. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://bit.ly/3w8mju5 Can a biological parent abduct his or her own child? Does child abduction only occur when there is a custody dispute or divorce? The answer is “yes” a biological parent can abduct his or her own child and, “no”, a custody dispute or divorce is not a necessary precursor.
What is Child Abduction? Child Abduction is the wrongful taking or removing, retaining or concealing a child. It is the taking away a person by persuasion, by fraud, or by open force or violence. There are two types of child abduction: – parental child abduction and – abduction by a stranger. This article discusses abduction by a parent from another parent who has custody of that child. Understanding Parental Abduction Laws All the states have adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction & Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), which became effective on January 1, 2004. Besides the UCCJEA, there are other laws that may be involved in international or interstate custody jurisdiction disputes. These include the Hague Convention, 22 U.S.C.A. 9001 et seq. and the federal Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA), 28 U.S.C.A. 1738A et seq. The PKPA provides that states must give full faith and credit to valid child custody determinations of sister states, however, no independent cause of action exists under the PKPA. What Is The Hague Convention? The Hague Convention is used when a child is taken or retained out of the country without the consent of his parent. When deciding if your child may leave the United States and travel to another country, you should know if that other country has adopted the Hague Convention or not. In the case of an abduction, a country who has adopted the Hague Convention will ensure that a child is brought back to their original jurisdiction. They will not allow litigation to commence anew in another country when there is already a custody order in the child’s home country. Counties that have not adopted the Hague Convention can essentially do what they want, regardless of whether there is a custody order already in place. For that reason, you should never let the other parent of the child travel to a location that has not adopted the Hague Convention. What Is The Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act? The Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA) is a federal law that was enacted in 1980 to resolve child custody disputes between states. It keeps a parent from removing a child from one state and bringing the child to another state and commencing a custody determination when there is already an order in another state. It is designed to discourage interstate conflicts, deter interstate child abductions, and promote cooperation between states about interstate child custody matters. Essentially, the PKPA is a full faith and credit law. By way of example, a young mother leaves the state of Texas and moves to Illinois, bringing her child with her. In Illinois, she files for protection against the father and seeks to keep the child in Illinois. If there is already an order in Texas, the Illinois court is bound to honor that order. That is what “full faith and credit law” means. Illinois should not attempt to relitigate what Texas has already ordered, and under the PKPA, Illinois should only enforce the Texas order. Since it is a federal law, it trumps the decisions in state courts. What Should You Do If a Parent Abducts a Child? The most important thing to do is act right away. I recently had a case where the father complained to me that his wife abducted their two children and moved to Illinois with them. He wanted help in getting them back. I asked him when she had left, and he told me two years ago. That is a problem. Once children reside in a state for six months, that state becomes the child’s “home state.” The father’s failure to timely act on the “abduction,” especially when there was no order of custody in his state, makes his case unwinnable. Surely the mother would argue that she left with her husband’s consent and his wait in bringing any type of action in the last two years are harmful to his case. Work With an Experienced Child Custody Attorney Cases that deal with parental child abduction, whether to another state or overseas, require you and your attorney to act quickly. This is not a time to hire a custody and child relocation attorney who is learning about the Hague Convention for the first time. Question your attorney to make sure that this type of case has been handled before and ask how many cases your attorney has actually handled involving abduction and child relocation. It is extremely important to locate counsel with knowledge and experience in Hague proceedings and act right away. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://bit.ly/3pO5Rv5 Choosing your divorce attorney is a lot like picking out a new car to buy. You need to know the cost of the car, the different features the car offers you and your family, and really, how you can get the most for your money from the car in the long run. Similarly, these are just a few of the same things to consider when choosing your divorce attorney. You would never just choose a random car you found on Google, or pick a car based solely on someone else’s experience, so why would you do that with your divorce attorney? There are enough attorneys in Chicago, that if you do your research and prepare for your meetings with potential attorneys you will end up with someone you feel comfortable with and someone that you trust with your case.
6 Tips to Help You Prepare for Your Divorce Attorney Consultation Your initial consultation with a divorce lawyer should provide you with information on how the divorce process works, information about your legal rights going into the case, and your obligations as a client. Tip The most important step to preparing for the consultation is to Tip 1 – Prepare a List of Questions You Want Answered Make a list of questions to ask the attorney during the consultation. Doing this will ensure you don’t forget to ask something important or something you might have been thinking about for some time. There are no wrong questions to ask. For most, the divorce process is scary and completely foreign, and attorneys understand that. So, they know to expect questions. Tip 2 – Learn About Your Options for Getting Divorced When most people picture divorce, images of screaming attorneys, contested court hearings, and emotional clients come to mind. However, in reality, divorce can actually be a much more calm, organized, and court-free process. Your divorce case does not have to start by jumping into court and start arguing. Couples and their attorneys can instead initially work together to try to amicably resolve the case with the best interest of the family as a whole in mind. There are resources such as divorce mediation and the collaborative divorce process that you can use to resolve your case. Make sure you ask the attorney during the consultation if these options might be right for you. Tip 3 – Have Knowledge Of Your Marital Finances Plan on bringing basic financial documents with you to your initial consultation, or have them handy nearby if your consult is over the phone or on Zoom. The basic financial documents you will want to have include: – Income tax returns; – Recent pay stubs and W-2 forms for both yourself and your spouse, if you have access to them; – Current mortgage statements; – Current bank statements; and – Current credit card statements. The more financial details and hard numbers you can bring to your consultation, the more specific advice the attorney will be able to provide. Tip 4 – Ask About the Attorney Fees Understanding how the attorney fees work is important so that you are not confused or lost when you read your monthly invoices. This also ensures you know what to expect as to what the monthly bill might be so you can set a budget. On that note, be sure you have a budget regarding attorney fees so you can figure out what attorneys might not work for you based on that specific budget, and which are more wallet-friendly. Tip 5 – Ask the Attorney About Their Experience With Similar Cases You should be aware of how long the attorney has been practicing and if divorce or family law is their main practice area. Often more important than the length of time an attorney has been practicing law is if they have sufficient experience regarding the specific family law issues in your case. Divorce can be complex especially when children and marital property issues are involved. Ask about their experience with financial aspects of the case as well as the parenting side of things if there are minor children to think about. Tip 6 – Have a General Idea About What You Want From the Divorce Although you may not be completely knowledgeable about the family laws that might affect your case before your consultation, you should still go into the meeting with some idea of the financial and child-related results you are looking for. Let the divorce attorney know realistically what your goals are, and how you hope to accomplish those things. Tip 7 – Listen and Be Open During the Consultation Listen to what the attorney tells you during the initial consultation. They are the expert in divorce issues and will know best how to advise you. As experienced Chicago divorce attorneys, we know this is a tough process for anyone to go through. But good or bad, you need to consider all of the advice a divorce lawyer provides so you have the ability to make the most informed decisions for yourself and your future. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce-tips/how-to-prepared-for-a-divorce-attorney-consultation |
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