Failure to follow an income withholding order brings a steep price for an Illinois employer following the divorce of one of its employees. A recent appeal came down from the Circuit Court of Sangamon County called In Re the Marriage of Sally Kay Hundley filed by the former wife and against her ex-husband John and his employer, Buckhart Sand & Gravel. The wife filed a third party claim against her husband’s employer for not paying monthly maintenance according to the income withholding notice. Case Background John was ordered to pay $370.00 a month in maintenance after the parties’ trial. Sally served an income withholding notice to John’s employer. The employer, Buckhart Sand & Gravel began withholding income from John’s paychecks but did not pay those withholdings to the Illinois State Disbursement Unit (SDU). Sally complained and filed a third-party complaint against Buckhart. Buckhart complained that the notice wasn’t properly filled out and the court agreed. That appeal was earlier reversed by the Appellate court. The case went back to the trial court for further proceedings. Buckhart continued to argue that the withholding notice was invalid, but the trial court said that they were not the proper person to contest the validity of the order. Instead of just paying the money, the company continued to fight. The court issued a written order finding that the initial failure to pay over withheld amounts pursuant to the withholding notice was an innocent mistake, but the violation became “knowing” when Buckhart failed to correct the mistake until May 2016. The company was assessed a statutory penalty in the amount of $112,000. In May 2018, the trial court modified its judgment and reduced the penalty to $53,400. Illinois Law Provides Daily Penalty When an Income Withholding Order is Ignored When a company is served with a notice of an income withholding order and they fail to take the money from the obligor’s check, there is an Illinois statute that allows a person to get a statutory penalty of $100 per day for each payment they miss. What is interesting about this case, is that the company took the money from John’s check, but then they wouldn’t pay it out. They paid a lot in attorney’s fees I assume and then to top it off, they are assessed the $100 a day penalty. It wasn’t even their money, so why did they mess around? Buckhart argued at one point that it had a “computing error” and that caused them not to pay the money over to the SDU. They argued that they shouldn’t have to pay the penalty because it was an honest mistake. But once they realize the mistake, they still didn’t pay. Instead, after the first appeal, the case goes to trial. In January 2018, the trial court conducted a bench trial. The parties stipulated that:
Company Admits to Not Taking Action on the Notice to Withhold Income A representative of the company, Mr. Flatt admitted he received the notice on February 19, 2016, but took no action, and Buckhart did not offer any explanation for why it did not correct the error. Accordingly, the court concluded that although the initial violation was not committed knowingly, the violation became knowing “when the error went unresolved until May of 2016.” The court also found Buckhart violated section 45(j) of the Support Act by failing to respond to the nonreceipt notice or remit the required payments. Based on these violations, the trial court then calculated the $100 per day penalty as set forth in section 35(a). Employers Beware: Notice to Withhold Income Requires Strict Compliance When filling out the Notice to Withhold income form, the mandatory language employed by section 20(c) means there must be strict compliance and the failure to include any of the required information (except the obligee’s signature) affects the validity of the notice of withholding. Once you have your Uniform order of support, and you want the money to come from the obligor’s check directly, you would also serve the employer with the Notice to Withhold. The employer in this case just doesn’t use sound judgment. A payor has no interest in the funds and should not be making a legal determination as to the validity of the conditions giving rise to the withholding. It is for this reason that the Act gives immunity to any payor who complies with a withholding notice. The Act specifically contemplates that withholding notices may contain mistakes about the current amount due or even arrearages, but it is not the employer’s job to second guess the notice or to do anything besides comply. If they believe an error was made, they could always petition the court, but what they cannot do is keep the money after they’ve withheld it. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/support/ignoring-income-withholding-order-pay-penalties/
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Is it really possible to keep your divorce civil? Yes, but easy? No. So when I read the news about Jeff Bezos divorce and his and his wife Mackenzie’s comments about how they’d reached an amicable agreement on how to end their marriage, I was glad.
As a divorce lawyer, I know one of the hardest parts of the divorce process is taking the emotion out of it so the real work can begin. No one can concentrate on the real issues while they are coping with distrust, anger, and upheaval of the end of their relationship. Their public breakup couldn’t have been more embarrassing and humiliating for MacKenzie Bezos. Having your marriage end is one thing, but to have the whole world learn about her husband’s affair on the news is quite another thing. Infidelity is hard on any divorce, but such a public disclosure sure doesn’t help things. Mackenzie and Jeff Bezos Take the Civil Approach to Divorce While everyone waited to see how much of a blood bath the Bezos divorce was going to be, instead, MacKenzie Bezos tweeted that she was “grateful to have finished the process” of getting her divorce over with and that she was looking forward to the next phase of her life. Of course, she has a lot of money and looks amazing (and so much better than him!), so that surely helps, but the Bezos divorce could have taken the bumpy road of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Jeff Bezos’s tweet echoed hers and praised his ex-wife, saying, “She has been an extraordinary partner, ally, and mother. She is resourceful and brilliant and loving, and as our futures unroll, I know I’ll always be learning from her.” 5 Secrets to Keep Your Divorce Civil While it all looks so easy for MacKenzie Bezos, but there are a lot of people that manage to get through the divorce process just like she does. So, what’s their secret? Every marriage that ends has to go through the same process. Kids’ schedules have to be figured out, there are decisions to be made regarding who gets the property and debt. Yet some people manage to take it more in stride than others. Of course, it is painful for everyone, but those who divorce well seem to come out of the process easier. It always interests me to see which of my clients is going to be able to keep on track and get the job done vs. those who never seem to concentrate. Over the last 20 years, I’ve seen some similarities in people who come out of the process well. Secret #1 – Educate Yourself On Divorce First, education seems to be the most helpful. No one likes feeling helpless and if they can educate themselves on the process and what is coming, it gives the person more control. If you did not want the divorce, it is so much harder since the control of the whole situation has been taken away from you. In that situation, it is imperative to learn as much as you can. You can read a lot online, but probably the most helpful thing to do is go in and consult with a lawyer about your rights. Things may not be as grim as you think once you have all the facts. I’d been told by a boss of mine many years ago, that you never want to fire someone on a Friday. He said to always fire them on a Monday. The reason for the Monday firing he explained, was so that the person could do something about it right away. Go file at unemployment, or fill out an application for new employment. It feels better when you can do something about your situation. For the same reason, I encourage my clients who are seeking a divorce to tell their spouse about it on a Monday. Don’t tell them on Friday when they can’t get any information for two days. It makes your spouse crazy with worry. That may be some of my clients’ goal (to make their spouse crazy), but I always try to start the process amicably, since amicable divorces cost a lot less than heavily litigated ones. Secret #2 – Get Healthy If you’re going through a divorce, now is the time to get in shape. First, some daily exercise gives you something to do instead of obsessing about your divorce, and second, it will help you sleep and eat better. Getting some exercise will lead to watching what you drink and eat and feeling better both physically and emotionally. When you start feeling stronger and healthier, you are going to feel better all around. No one will tell you that this process will be easy, but getting healthy (or in shape) will give you the control back that you’ll be craving. You’ll be in charge of something that is happening in your life. And won’t it be great when your spouse sees you in court looking all happy and healthy! It’s a win-win! Secret #3 – Get a Therapist We all want to share everything with our friends, but eventually, they will tire of your divorce. You want to give a blow by blow of every interaction and after a while, they will hate being around you. A person can only take so much negativity before they start drifting away. I’m a big fan of therapy. If you are worried that seeing a therapist will hurt your divorce case, don’t. Judges realize, and even encourage the parties to see a therapist. Even people who have mental illness have children and have them the majority of the time. The key is getting the help you need. It is better for a person to realize they need some help and to go and get it, rather than the person who clearly has a problem and does nothing about it. People don’t tell others that they are seeing a therapist, likely because it embarrasses them, but there is no reason for that. This is a big life-changing event in your life and no one should be embarrassed about getting some help to go through it. The therapist will help you get through this in a good way, and they are trained to do it. Much more so than your closest friends. Secret #4 – Remember This is Just a Transition Many people stay married because it is too painful to leave or they are too embarrassed to be a divorcee. Don’t let a divorce characterize who you are. There was a time when this was a stigma against you, but it is not anymore. I’m not trying to make light of divorce and I believe people shouldn’t enter into the process lightly. But if this isn’t working for you, really, life is too short! Get out there and do something that you’ve always wanted to do. Secret #5 – Take Your Time Think about what you are doing before you do it. I have a lot of clients who want to rush out and close bank accounts and move their money around. I always caution against this. First, it will make your spouse scared and you’ll start an avalanche of litigation. Second, it exasperates the trust issues in your relationship with your spouse. There will already be trust issues to work on with your spouse, and the last thing you need is a further deterioration of that trust. It will make your case last a lot longer. The divorce process typically takes many months, even with amicable divorces. There is no reason to rush out and do anything rash. Don’t sell anything and don’t buy anything. Your reasoning will not be at its best for a while, so take decisions that change your life slowly. Divorce Isn’s Easy But It Can Be Civil No one said that this process will be easy. It will be painful, even for the person who wanted the divorce. But if you take the divorce process as a means to move forward, to make some changes, you’ll see that it doesn’t have to alter your life forever. You might actually come out of it a better person. You can decide that instead of letting this process ruin you, you’ll look forward to the new changes and embrace them. Trust me, hanging on to all of the negative emotional baggage won’t hurt your spouse in the least, that person has already moved on. You are the only one hurting when you cannot put some kind of positive spin on this. Take control of your life and move forward, you’ll be glad you did. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/5-secrets-to-keep-your-divorce-civil-like-jeff-bezos/ Wondering if you’re choosing the right lawyer is a common question that comes up when you’re going through a divorce or family law case. And while it’s a common question when going through a divorce, it’s not always easy to answer. Here’s some guidance that should help you find your answer: Research Helps You Know If You’re Choosing the Right Lawyer There are many websites now that review lawyers and those are a good start. If you research your attorney online and see a series of reviews about the attorney, are they predominantly good? Other people’s review of the attorney you are seeking to hire can be a good place to start. Does the Attorney Concentrate in Family Law? I’d also want to know that this attorney only concentrated in family law. Is the attorney you are seeking to hire also doing real estate closings? Bankruptcy law? Personal injury? I have a hard time believing that you can do all of these areas of law well. I could be wrong, but it would take a lot to convince me. The area of family law encompasses not only divorce but the division of assets and liabilities, real estate, pension divisions, etc. This area of law is not a small division of law, but actually fairly large. If you have a business, you’ll want to know if your attorney has ever handled this issue before. You’ll want to talk about some aspects of your business to see if the lawyer understands profit and loss statements, partnership and shareholder agreements, Buy-Sell Agreements, etc. When you talk “business” with your lawyer, do you feel like she understands the issues you have? Meet the Divorce Lawyer in Person Before Hiring A face to face meeting with the lawyer you’d like to hire can help you decide if this is the attorney for you. Some attorneys are better writers and not litigators. Some will be too aggressive if you are seeking an uncontested divorce. What exactly are you looking for? Give some thought to what type of lawyer you’re really looking for. Do you want an aggressive attorney and realize when you sit with her that she seems kind of shy? It might not be the right fit for you. Having an idea about what you want can help you pick the right attorney too. Communicate Your Needs Be honest with the attorney you meet with regarding the needs you have in the case. If you have a custody dispute, you should be able to tell if the attorney is equipped to handle that type of fight. Or if the attorney has ideas on how you can best accomplish your goal. A lot of your decision will be based on how well you believe you can talk to this attorney and if they are approachable. It doesn’t matter if you hire the best attorney there is if you can never reach them. Discuss what you need and make sure that the attorney you are hiring can meet that need. Feel Comfortable Communicating It is important to feel comfortable with the divorce attorney that you hire and to have a good rapport with easy communication. Going through a divorce is a personal thing and you will share personal and private details throughout the process. Your attorney should make you feel more at ease when discussing your case, if they do not that is probably not the right attorney for you. Understand the Attorney’s Billing Practices Hiring a lawyer is an investment. Be sure to discuss the attorney’s billing practices and policies before you decide to choose a lawyer to represent you. Don’t get caught by surprise and not be able to keep your divorce lawyer mid-way through the process due to financial reasons. Understand the billing practices before hiring your attorney and know what the fees include.
Choose the Right Lawyer for You You are going to have a lot of questions when you decide to seek a divorce or pursue a family law case. Learn as much as you can, but take your advice from someone who is experienced in this area of law. Discuss your case with a highly-regarded, experienced lawyer who does divorce and family law for a living. Many facets of your life will change, but choosing the right divorce attorney to look out for your interests, allows you to move forward with confidence. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/am-i-choosing-the-right-lawyer/ Reaching an agreement is typically the best case scenario for each party in a divorce or custody case. Of course, reaching an agreement may be more difficult said than done.
Let The Judge Decide The alternative to reaching an agreement is having the Judge decide via hearing or trial. Judges do their best to listen to the facts of the case, hear both sides of the argument, and apply the governing law to reach an informed decision. Being a Judge is a difficult job; it’s nearly impossible for a Judge to be informed of every detail of a case prior to their ruling. Judges do not always rule in a predictable way; sometimes it is difficult to know which way one will sway. As a result, you are taking your chances with the outcome if you request a Judge to rule on the matter. When it comes to these sensitive and crucial issues, deciding to “take your chances” is very stressful. This is why I strongly encourage the parties to do everything in their power to work together to reach an agreement. Tips for Reaching An Agreement in Your Divorce Because reaching an agreement is usually the best option in divorce and family law case, here are some tips to help you and your former partner agree on difficult issues: Agreement By Parties I always encourage the parties to first try working together to reach an agreement. Plus, this is the most time and cost efficient route to take. I recommend clients speak with their attorney prior to any negotiation with their former partner. This is a critical step to help clients:
Agreement By Attorneys Attorneys are extremely effective in helping parties reach an agreement because of their significant experience with negotiation tactics. They usually know which battles are best to fight and which issues are best to let go. Attorneys also help take the emotion out of the issues, which is extremely helpful in getting the parties to see the bigger picture and put difficult matters into perspective. Reach Agreement Through Mediation Reaching an agreement with mediation can be very effective. Sometimes if the Judge believes it’s possible for parties to reach an agreement, he or she will order mandatory mediation for the parties and will not hear the case further until the parties have attempted mediation. Judges usually prefer parties come to an agreement themselves outside of the courtroom because it makes their job easier and usually presents a more favorable outcome for each side. MEDIATION THROUGH COOK COUNTY If you have a pending case in Cook County, Illinois, going through mediation can be done for free through the county’s office. Keep in mind the list is backed up for several months. While it is not a fast process, it can be an effective one. Sometimes having enough time between the issue and the negotiation can aid parties in reaching an agreement because some of the emotional aspects of the issues have been removed or had time to settle in. This enables parties to focus on the main issues. PRIVATE MEDIATION Parties are also able to hire private mediators to help them and their former partner work through issues to divide property, assets, etc. Private mediators are usually attorneys who hold special certifications with focused training. They typically bill their normal billable attorney rate and can have as many sessions as the parties find helpful. Please note, a Mediator does not represent either party. A mediator works skillfully to help each party see and understand the position of the other side and help to find common ground in order to reach an agreement. Parties can bring their personal attorneys to the mediation to ensure their individual interests are being represented. Using the Collaborative Law Process Collaborative law is a great process for parties who want to really work together to reach an amicable settlement. This is done completely outside of the courtroom.
Additional Advice to Help You Reach Agreement :
If you are facing divorce or separated and wondering if an agreement is possible, seek advice from an experienced divorce lawyer. Contact Anderson & Boback today to speak with one of our family law attorneys about reaching an agreement in your divorce. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/tips-reaching-agreement-your-divorce/ If getting a divorce is something you are seriously considering you may find yourself with many questions that need answers. There are a lot of emotions that surface when deciding to get a divorce. Some people elect to handle the divorce themselves and others need more information to help them decide which way to go. As a Chicago divorce lawyer, I field a lot of these types of questions each and every day. The following are some of the most common questions I answer about getting a divorce: Top 13 Questions About Getting a Divorce 1. Does it Matter Who Files First in a Divorce? Some people have been told that the person who files first in a divorce case gets some sort of advantage. It is not true. You can bring the divorce (you would be called the Petitioner) or you can be the person answering the petition for divorce (you would be called the Respondent). The law requires the court to rule on certain aspects of law pursuant to our statutes, so it doesn’t matter if you are the Petitioner or the Respondent. 2. What Procedures are Involved in Getting a Divorce? The divorce is started by the Petitioner filing a Petition for Dissolution. Once the Petition is filed, the Respondent must receive a copy of it. A lot of times, we’ll mail that Petition to the Respondent and ask that the Petition be given to their lawyer, who will then file an appearance on their behalf. If your spouse will not take the Petition to their lawyer, then we’d need to serve them through the Sheriff. No one likes the Sheriff serving them the paperwork, so we generally try the softer approach by having it mailed first. Once the appearance has been filed by the other side, we move to the next step in your case. If you have children, that means having the parties attend mediation and a parenting class. Both are required by the court, so it is important to get these requirements over with early in your case. If there are no children, we’ll start with sending out the financial discovery, We will need to ascertain exactly how much money each of you makes so that we can divide up your property, and calculate child support and maintenance. 3. How Much Does It Cost to Get Divorced? The party filing for divorce – the Petitioner – has to pay the filing fee (unless they can convince the court to waive the fee) and the Respondent has to pay an Appearance fee. Sometimes there is a court reporter to pay, and with that, the court reporter’s transcript of the proceeding. Most of the time, these costs are mandatory when you get a divorce. Since lawyers in the Domestic Relations field bill by the hour, the divorce costs itself will vary greatly. Are you going to fight over who gets the lawnmower? The china? The pets? You may elect not to fight over the personal property like the lawnmower and the china, but when it comes to your pets, it is a different story. Pets are like kids for some couples and oftentimes no money is too great to fight for their possession – including beloved pets. But you have to understand that when you fight it will cost money. Uncontested divorces are reasonably priced, but protracted litigation can be very costly. Asking your lawyer how much it is going to cost is hard to predict. We don’t know what you will be fighting about. The more you can work out ahead of time with your spouse, the more reasonably priced your divorce will be. On the flip side, the more you argue about, the more it will cost you. 4. How Long Will It Take Me to Get a Divorce? The length of time required to get a divorce is dictated by the fighting and conflict. If we need to have the judge decide numerous issues in your case, then it is going to take longer. If you truly have an uncontested divorce (all the issues have been worked out between the two of you), then we can get you your divorce paperwork in a couple of days. We would make the changes you require and then file your case. Depending on the judge’s calendar, you might get into the courthouse in as quickly as 7 days or 2 weeks. A lot will depend on how busy the judge’s calendar looks. 5. Who Has To Go To Court? Technically, if there is a signed agreement, only the Petitioner needs to appear in court. If the Respondent hasn’t hired an attorney and is representing herself (“pro se”), then I generally like to have the Respondent in court as well. Sometimes the judge will change part of the agreement. If a change is made, it still requires both sides to agree to the change. That change will need to be initialed by both parties and if one of them isn’t there, we have to come back on another day. If it is important to get it done quickly, both sides should appear in court. If you cannot get your spouse to the courthouse, it isn’t absolutely necessary, but it does ensure that it will be completed that day. 6. What If My Spouse Won’t Sign the Divorce Paperwork? The final paperwork for your divorce is called a “Marital Settlement Agreement” or “MSA”. If your spouse won’t resolve your case amicably with an agreement, then you have to go to trial. 7. Can I Have a Collaborative Divorce? Sure, you can have a collaborative divorce. We have attorneys in our firm that are trained, collaborative lawyers. This type of case is a form of alternative dispute resolution. No one is going to court to seek the judge’s opinion on settlement and there are no hearings. Collaborative divorce is a divorce done by agreement. Attempts are made to settle the case amicably, and if professionals are needed to help settle it, they are brought into the negotiations. A group of people might be present to resolve the case. There will be at least two attorneys, sometimes a real estate broker who would be involved in selling your house, sometimes a therapist, etc. Professionals are brought in as necessary to resolve each aspect of your case without going to court. 8. We Have Money In a Joint Account and I’m Afraid that He Will Take it All out and I Won’t Have Any Money. What Can I Do? I hate to see people making a money grab early in their case because it breaks down the trust. The trust level between divorcing couples is already in a precarious spot and running and snatching all the money out of the bank doesn’t help with the trust issues we’ll need in order to get an agreement to settle the case. But if you feel like the money will be spent and you won’t be able to get it back, then it might be a good idea to take half of it and open up your own bank account. Inform the other party after you’ve done it, and don’t spend it frivolously. You’ll need to account for all of it, so don’t take out cash withdrawals or spend it on your boyfriend. The money still belongs to both of you, so make sure that you can tell the court exactly what you did with the money. 9. Can I Prevent a Divorce From Happening? No. There is nothing you can do to prevent a divorce from happening if your spouse decides he or she wants one. You can talk to your spouse about trying couples therapy and seeing what it would take to save your marriage, but if your spouse is committed to moving forward with a divorce, there is nothing you can do about it. 10. My Husband Had an Affair. Does that Mean I Will Then Get the Majority of Our Property? Unfortunately, no. Illinois is a no-fault state and we no longer need grounds for a divorce. Your husband might be a bad person, but that is not going to change the amount of money you’ll both get in the divorce. Property distribution is set forth in a statute for the court to use. The court cannot consider the fault of a person causing or asking for the divorce. There are aspects of our statute that can allow you to get more than 50% of the estate, so you’ll want to go over those factors with your attorney, but being “at fault” is not one of the factors. 11. I’m Afraid I Won’t Have Enough Money t0 Live On After the Divorce. Can You Help? We will counsel you on this issue and determine if you are entitled to maintenance (used to be called alimony) and/or child support. The laws have changed in the area of maintenance and this is a calculation now, much like the way we calculate child support. Both parties’ incomes are evaluated and a formula determines the amount you would get. This is called “guideline maintenance” or “guideline child support.” The guideline is just that, a guide. The court doesn’t have to adopt that number and your attorney can argue that the guidelines shouldn’t be used. A petition could be filed on your behalf to either seek an upward modification or a downward modification from the guidelines. 12. I Have a Business; Do I Have to Sell It When I Get Divorced? Probably not. Some businesses have value with or without the owner of the business (like a McDonald’s) and others do not. Some businesses have valuable assets like machinery, and other businesses, like an accountant’s office, may only have computers and desks that make up their “assets.” Every business will have a value, but getting to that business evaluation can be a long process. An expert is likely needed to evaluate the goodwill of a business and its assets. Once a value is determined, you would have to pay out a value to your spouse to keep the asset. Much like you would if you wanted to keep your house. You’d determine the equity value and pay your spouse out so you could keep that asset. 13. I Cannot Afford to Lose My Children. What Can I Do to Make Sure I Get Custody of the Kids? This conversation can entail a lot of information. When we know that you will be involved in a child custody dispute, we sit down with you to determine the best course of action for you. As a general rule, you should keep communication lines open with your children and your spouse. Keeping the children from him can be detrimental to your case, so in most cases, you want to allow them to continue seeing each other. You’d want to encourage phone calls and Facetime. You need to think of what your children need and meet those needs. Make sure you don’t use the children as pawns in this divorce. If you ensure that you can facilitate a relationship between your children and your spouse, that demonstrates you are looking out for your children’s best interests. You will want to discuss this personally with your attorney. Seek Advice from an Experienced Divorce Attorney You are going to have a lot of questions when you decide to seek a divorce. Learn as much as you can, but take your advice from someone who is experienced in this area of law. Discuss your case with a seasoned professional who does divorce law for a living. The more you know, the better the divorce process will go for you. Good luck! THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/getting-a-divorce-top-13-questions/ I love the classic movie “My Cousin Vinny”. It makes us laugh and makes us wonder if there is anything we can take away from this movie about the courtroom. As an attorney, watching the movie makes me understand some things that are critically important but hard to grasp until you see it in action in court. Vinny Commands the Courtroom One thing for sure is Vinny’s command of the courtroom when he is cross-examining witnesses. We have all heard that it is best to have the witness answer with short yes and no answer. Vinny, in his cross-examination of an elderly woman who wears thick glasses, uses the entire courtroom which keeps everyone’s attention. He asked the witness to hold onto the end of a measuring tape and holding the other end, he walked to the end of the courtroom. He asked her to tell him when to stop when he was about the same distance away as she was when she witnessed the incident in question. When she tells him to stop, she is testifying to what she witnessed. Standing at the edge of the courtroom with the tape measure between him and the witnesses, taking up a large amount of space and keeping everyone’s attention he simply asks her, “How many fingers am I holding up?” What happened next is powerful…The witness could not see. This was a wonderful demonstration of the witness’s inability to see what she thought she saw. Vinny’s courtroom demonstration was a great example of how to get things into evidence and persuading a judge through the use of demonstrations and simple tools. Vinny Knows How To Make a Point There was another eyewitness who was making grits when he said he witnessed the incident. When he was on the witness and testifying about it, again Vinny did it right. He talked to the witness about the grits, how long it takes to make grits, how he likes his grits, etc. Once the witness committed to his answers about making grits, Vinny points out the time discrepancy. The witness testified that it takes him five minutes to make his grits. Vinny then used a bit of humor and/or sarcasm to get his point across by saying: “Were these magic grits?” “Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?” “Do the laws of physics somehow cease to operate in your kitchen?” Again, Vinny has captured the attention of the Judge and is making a point in a very clever way. Professional Courtroom Attire It is unforgettable how Judge Chamberlain (played by Fred Gwynne – also known as “Herman Munster”) gave Vinny such a hard time for his courtroom attire. Vinny was very proud of his purchase from the local resale shop of his big belt buckle and cowboy hat. No doubt, it is important to dress professionally in court and most obviously wear a suit or similar professional attire for women. Confidence Leads to Courtroom Success Vinny showed us that having confidence in your abilities leads to courtroom success. Effective litigators have to be confident and strong in their position. They have to be able to command a courtroom and make use of creative ways to get to what you want a witness to say or demonstrate in court. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce-litigation/my-cousin-vinny-courtroom-tips/ I love the classic movie “My Cousin Vinny”. It makes us laugh and makes us wonder if there is anything we can take away from this movie about the courtroom. As an attorney, watching the movie makes me understand some things that are critically important but hard to grasp until you see it in action in court. Vinny Commands the Courtroom One thing for sure is Vinny’s command of the courtroom when he is cross-examining witnesses. We have all heard that it is best to have the witness answer with short yes and no answer. Vinny, in his cross-examination of an elderly woman who wears thick glasses, uses the entire courtroom which keeps everyone’s attention. He asked the witness to hold onto the end of a measuring tape and holding the other end, he walked to the end of the courtroom. He asked her to tell him when to stop when he was about the same distance away as she was when she witnessed the incident in question. When she tells him to stop, she is testifying to what she witnessed. Standing at the edge of the courtroom with the tape measure between him and the witnesses, taking up a large amount of space and keeping everyone’s attention he simply asks her, “How many fingers am I holding up?” What happened next is powerful…The witness could not see. This was a wonderful demonstration of the witness’s inability to see what she thought she saw. Vinny’s courtroom demonstration was a great example of how to get things into evidence and persuading a judge through the use of demonstrations and simple tools. Vinny Knows How To Make a Point There was another eyewitness who was making grits when he said he witnessed the incident. When he was on the witness and testifying about it, again Vinny did it right. He talked to the witness about the grits, how long it takes to make grits, how he likes his grits, etc. Once the witness committed to his answers about making grits, Vinny points out the time discrepancy. The witness testified that it takes him five minutes to make his grits. Vinny then used a bit of humor and/or sarcasm to get his point across by saying: “Were these magic grits?” “Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?” “Do the laws of physics somehow cease to operate in your kitchen?” Again, Vinny has captured the attention of the Judge and is making a point in a very clever way. Professional Courtroom Attire It is unforgettable how Judge Chamberlain (played by Fred Gwynne – also known as “Herman Munster”) gave Vinny such a hard time for his courtroom attire. Vinny was very proud of his purchase from the local resale shop of his big belt buckle and cowboy hat. No doubt, it is important to dress professionally in court and most obviously wear a suit or similar professional attire for women. Confidence Leads to Courtroom Success Vinny showed us that having confidence in your abilities leads to courtroom success. Effective litigators have to be confident and strong in their position. They have to be able to command a courtroom and make use of creative ways to get to what you want a witness to say or demonstrate in court. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT:https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce-litigation/my-cousin-vinny-courtroom-tips/ Avoiding parenting issues with your ex’s significant other is often overlooked once parents move on following a divorce or break up. Most Allocation Judgments (formerly called Custody Judgments) address this issue and put the burden on a parent to make sure their new, subsequent significant other (and potentially third parties) aware of the contents and rules of the Allocation Judgment. Usually, the most important provisions to notify third parties and significant others regarding are the parenting time rules.
No Disparaging Remarks About the Other Parent Generally, there is a rule regarding not disparaging the other parent, not discussing court proceedings or financial issues with the minor children, and more. It is imperative that any person who will be around your children regularly or repeatedly follow these rules. If they do not, you may be held responsible for it in Court. Ensure Significant Others and Third-Parties Follow the Rules A lot of Allocation Judgments have language in them in which indicates that the parent is responsible for informing the third parties and subsequent significant others/new spouses of the parenting time rules and making sure they are enforced. This is because the Court, in most cases, does not have jurisdiction over anyone other than the parties themselves. So, they couldn’t hold a third party in contempt of court for a violation of the order, because they are not bound by the Court’s jurisdiction. But the parents are, especially with language such as what I suggested above. You’re Responsible If Your Significant Other Refuses to Abide by the Rule Language such as the language above holds the parent responsible if they bring the minor children around third parties or significant others who refuse to abide by the rules. They can be held in contempt of Court and accused of violating the order. This can mean monetary sanctions, such as attorney’s fees, or even jail time when the act is a criminal contempt issue. This is serious business and must not be taken lightly. Further, even if your agreement doesn’t require you to inform third parties and significant others of the parenting agreement’s rules, especially not to disparage the other parent of your children, it is just good practice. It is being a kind human. It is setting a good example. Model Good Behavior & Put Your Children’s Needs First Too many parents get caught up in the messy details of a divorce or the relationship ending that they don’t even realize that they are putting themselves first instead of their children. Those are the children who have the hardest time later in life, in school, in relationships of their own, etc. Setting a good example of behavior and interaction with your ex’s significant other (and others) is mandatory if you want your children to be well-adjusted and successful as adults. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/child-custody-visitation/avoid-parenting-issues-exs-significant-other/ Finding a way to effectively detect parental alienation is important in any custody or divorce situation. The warning signs that alert a child is suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome are not always clear, which is why it is important to keep a record of any behavior that is suspect and keep a detailed record including dates, times, things said, behavior issues and note any “secrets” your child may be keeping. I have experienced alienating parents keeping secrets with their child as a way of building a bond with the child and alienating the other parent.
Warning Signs to Help Detect Parental Alienation Some of the signs that help you detect parental alienation in your particular situation include:
An Alienated Child Will Choose a Side In my experience, the alienated child will choose a side – the side of the alienating parent and will become absolutely certain that the other parent is at fault, a bad parent, a bad person and hate that parent. It is interesting that children usually have difficult times with both of their parents at some point. However, in situations of parental alienation, the child has so aligned with the alienating parent that it is black and white – one parent is all good and the other parent is nothing but bad. The child shows no remorse about shutting the other parent out and it is not uncommon to hear the child say things to or about the alienated parent that are words used by the alienator. Unfortunately, this often leads to the child actually hating the extended family of the alienated parent as well including grandparents, aunts, uncles and even refuse to see them. False Allegations of Parental Alienation and the Narcissistic Parent In some cases, it is also possible that the targeted parent is a narcissist which may lead to allegations of parental alienation that does not exist. In these situations, the case studies show that the narcissistic parent is unable to understand why the child does not adore the greatness of the narcissistic parent. The child will withdraw from the relationship and the only answer the parent can come up with is that it must be parental alienation. Dealing with False Accusations of Parental Alienation
Alienation of a child against the other parent is taken very seriously by the family court system because it has been shown to have lasting harmful effects on the child. Many states have factors that include “facilitating a relationship between the child(ren) and the other parent” and if this is not done, as in the case with an alienating parent, that parent is likely to lose custody and may even be restricted to supervised visitation. Asking the Right Questions to Prove or Disprove Parental Alienation It may be that a parent who has experienced the same “alienation” concept by one of their parents when they were growing up may engage in the same behavior if those feelings or patterns are re-triggered during their own divorce or separation. Unfortunately, the family court system was not designed to look at what is right and what is wrong. The family court system is designed to look out for the best interest of the child.
Detecting parental alienation in a parent-child relationship or dealing with false allegations of parental alienation are serious matters with lasting consequences. Please contact our family law attorneys today to schedule a confidential consultation if you have concerns about parental alienation and how to proceed. THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT:https://illinoislawforyou.com/child-custody-visitation/how-detect-parental-alienation/ |
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